Pookiebear Predicament
by Crazy Fool Stiney
Summary: Cracky bit of nonsense about Murdock and a Teddybear. F/M slash. Movie verse.


Face was really glad the farmhouse was huge and B.A. and Hannibal were off checking out the rest of it, the barn or wherever the hell they were when he let out the most unmanly yelp ever uttered from an Army Ranger. Hell, if hadn't already happened, they probably would have stripped his rank just on the noise alone.

And yes, for once he could admit to it because he'd been walking down the dark hallway thinking this crappy house (that Hannibal had found for them) reminded him of those stupid zombie comics Murdock read all the time when they were in Iraq. Face hated that shit but oh, what one would read when bored.

Face was halfway down the hall when an upside down body swung out of the ceiling. It wasn't until after the yelp he realized the body, now laughing hysterically was Murdock.

"Jesus Christ, Murdock. What the hell are you doing?" He said looking into the excited face of the pilot.

"Other than turning you into a 5 year old girl? Checking out the house. There's all sorts of cool stuff up here in the attic. Look!" Murdock shoved a patchy, brown, almost flat, sad looking bear in his face.

"Murdock! That thing's disgusting." Face recoiled out of Murdock's reach.

"Disgusting! Face, Pookiebear is not disgusting! She's been well loved!"

'_Pookiebear? Oh goddamn it. This was not going to end well.'_ "I think it's passed its loving prime. How about you leave it up there?"

"Pookiebear's lonely up here. Said she wants to meet the guys." Murdock started pouting before flinging his free hand out to grab hold of Face's shirt and pull him close and into an awkward kiss.

"Awww, just like Spiderman!" Murdock grinned when he pulled away.

"Hey, I am NOT Mary Jane!"

"No? But you sure sounded like a girl a few minutes ago with that scream." Murdock giggled before disappearing back into the attic.

"It wasn't a scream." Face said indignantly to the empty hall.

Face didn't think to mention anything about the bear because over the last two day it'd seemed Murdock had put it aside. Plus, there would always the same reaction to Murdock's whims.

Hannibal would just sigh and quietly go along with Murdock. Well, apart from the one time a year ago when Murdock had insisted for an entire month that Hannibal was a Jedi Master and had begged the Colonel to take him on as his Padawan. That'd been the only time in 10 years Face thought he might have to peel the boss' hands from around Murdock's throat.

Bosco would grumble, shout and would assuredly need his hands removed from around the pilot's neck but that's how it always went.

A few days later Murdock came downstairs for dinner, animatedly whispering into his jacket.

"Oh, hell no fool, what you got?" B.A. grumbled then shot Face an accusing look.

Face threw his hands up, "I didn't give him anything."

"Now B.A., be nice. She's really excited to meet you. I told her all about you."

Face remembered the teddy bear. _'Please, no.'_ He silently prayed.

Murdock smiled then unzipped his jacket and pulled out the bear, sitting it on the table.

Prayer request denied. Face sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Murdock, what is that?" Hannibal asked evenly.

"Nasty as hell is what it is. Get it off the table while I'm trying to eat, fool."

"Bosco, show some manners when we have guests." Murdock chided. "This is Pookiebear. Pookiebear, this Hannibal, B.A. and you already met Face." Murdock leaned into the bear. "Yeah, he was the one that screamed in the hall."

B.A. snickered.

"Shut up. _NOT_ a scream."

The next day Face was in living room looking over their money books when Murdock flew into the house like a bat out of hell, well, more so than usual. A second later B.A. came roaring in after him.

"I told you to keep that damned thing out my face, man."

"Bosco, she was just trying to help. She's actually a great mechanic." Murdock still wasn't heeding B.A.'s warning and was happily dancing Pookiebear in front of him.

B.A. slapped his hand away, "Only thing it's gonna help me with is sopping up your blood, you don't stay away from me with it."

'_Ok, threat of bloodshed. Time to referee.'_ "Hey bud, does Pookiebear know anything about accounting? I may need some help over here."

B.A. again gave Face a look like Murdock finding the bear was his fault before he went out, slamming the door behind him.

"Whatcha ya' got, Faceman?"

"Not sure yet. Just sit here with me until I find it again." Face said patting the couch next to him.

For the next 20 minutes Face got no work done, it just wasn't going to happen with Murdock's constant fidgeting and his chatter with the bear.

"Face, Pookiebear said those numbers are wrong." Murdock said pointing at the paperwork with oil smudged fingers.

"Murdock. Why don't you get Pookiebear to take you on a tour of the house. I mean she's lived her for ages, right? Just stay out of B.A.'s way. I don't want to have to scrape you off the garage floor."

Before Face could say anything else Murdock bolted from the room.

Face looked down at the oil spotted paper. "Shit. That number really is wrong."

Face had thought Pookiebear trying to help B.A. with the van was amusing and he'd wished he'd been in the house when Pookiebear had offered her opinion on Hannibal's plan. It had been hilarious enough when he came back from the store and found Murdock up a tree in the front yard screeching at him that Pookiebear was only trying to help bring the plan together.

But this, this was none of that at all. This was unacceptable. The goddamn bear did not belong in the bed, especially right after sex. And he meant immediately, like still lying there breathing against the nape of Murdock's neck while his heartbeat returned to normal.

Face rolled over onto his back and heard Murdock mumble something.

"What?" Face yawned.

"Just saying good night to Pookiebear."

"Murdock." Face groaned.

"Face, the bed's nice and warm and it's cold in the house."

'_Oh, fuck me. O.K. it's not that bad.' _Face thought.

There's no way it could be as rough as the time Murdock insisted on Billy sleeping in the bed with them. That'd led to no sex for an entire month.

Murdock had been all, "Face, what kind of example are we setting? I'm having enough trouble trying to teach Billy it's not nice to hump B.A.'s leg."

It'd been a _VERY_ long month of scoldings from Murdock.

"Get off of that." (Billy)

"Don't put that in your mouth." (Face, unfortunately)

Face had been overjoyed that Murdock had taken to his suggestion that maybe Billy would find a better way to bond than humping if they let him sleep with B.A. instead. It'd worked like a charm and they themselves were back to _'bonding'_ as soon as Murdock shooed Billy into Bosco's room.

So in retrospect it could be worse than the bear being in the bed, as long as it stayed on Murdock's side.

"I swear to God that manky thing better not touch me."

No sooner had the words left his mouth then Murdock was giggling as he pushed the bear against his chest.

"Murdock!" Face warned as the bear retreated.

"I mean it." And he did but that didn't stop him from laughing as he felt Pookiebear creep against him again.

Face flipped over, bearing his full weight down while trying to snatch the bear out of Murdock's hand.

"I don't know why I keep letting you in my bed." Face said grabbing for Murdock's wrist and holding it away from the bed so the bear stayed at a safe distance.

Murdock huffed laughter against his neck, "Because you'll never convince Bosco to let you do that thing you like so much."

"Damn, that's true." Face loosened his grip on Murdock's arm. "Alright. She can stay."

"Victory is mine!" Murdock shouted, smacking a kiss soundly on Face's mouth even as he brought his arm in to place Pookiebear right on the conman's ass.


End file.
